"Six Men. One Woman. No Balls."
The Cobblers Arms have been the best and most feared Amateur Rugby League team for the past ten years. Ex-pro Arthur bets their boss that he could train a bunch of deadbeats to defeat them in a local rugby sevens tournament. But to do so he must first get them into shape with the help of the very attractive Hazel Scott.
Arthur Hoyle

Hazel Scott

Steve

Phil

Frank

Tommy

Tony

Ray Mason, Radio York commentator

Reg Welch

Doreen Hoyle
Stan

June

Jack, Doreen's Father

Carol

Colin West

Vicky
Betty
Ambulance Man
Wayne, Cobbler's Arms Team

Scott, Cobbler's Arms Team
Cute, Cobbler's Arms Team
Muscles, Cobbler's Arms Team
Crusher, Cobbler's Arms Team
Skylab, Cobbler's Arms Team
Slash, Cobbler's Arms Team
Beefy, Cobbler's Arms Team

Crunch, Cobbler's Arms Team
Female Boxer
Female Boxer
Boxing Referee
1st Referee
2nd Referee
3rd Referee
Little Girl